I’m very grateful to have found this site. I personally have been affected by TB Joshua and the SCOAN in a most negative way. I’m eternally grateful to Jesus for giving me a second chance when I was so deeply deceived. Since leaving SCOAN I have discovered a completely different side to God – an intimate relationship with Him with no human mediator, and total forgiveness without your past mistakes being used to break you down.
I plan on sharing my 10 year experience of being a disciple in increments as I have the strength to do so. I prefer to do it anonymously for my own safety and that of my family. I left about a year ago and am still coming to grips with the reality that SCOAN was a cult. It was a big shock when I realised that what I’d given my life to and built my future upon is nothing but a cult. I was horrified to find that the isolated communal lifestyle, denial of privacy, late night meetings, sleep deprivation, reporting, character breaking disciple meetings and so on, occur in most cults and have nothing to do with the Holy Spirit’s leading of TB Joshua as I once believed. I read about cults like Mormonism, Jehovah’s witness, Scientology, The twelve tribes, Indian guru cults, etc and saw striking similarities. They also record your confession and use it to silence you should you later leave like what happened to Bisola Johnson in Beware of Blasphemers. They also encourage that you sell your possessions and give it to their leaders, live in community and give all decision making authority to the leader. They also have meetings of character assassination, ie, monitoring, reporting and correction as SCOAN calls it. They also live in “compounds”, communal living where access to information is controlled, the leader’s videos / teachings are continually played to you and a false reality “euphoria” is created with no opportunity to question.
The hardest thing for me to come to terms with is the fact that I may never see my loved ones (brothers and sisters as they’re called in SCOAN) again. I sometimes feel guilty as I “move on with my life”, that I’m leaving so many sincere, but sincerely deceived people behind and it seems as if there is not much I can do to open their eyes. Since I had completely cut off from my family and friends – it now seems very strange to reconnect with them after 10 long years. So many things have changed but in some ways, I am exactly where I started before I joined SCOAN – I have no qualifications, no job reference, no proof of what I’ve done with my life. I’m only beginning to see the effects of many years of sexual and emotional abuse I received from TB Joshua. But I am determined more than ever to trust in God alone, deal with my past in His strength and become what He made me to be.