If you follow Emmanuel TV closely, you could be forgiven for believing that thousands are healed every week, hundreds of laser accurate prophecies are given and demons are sent packing from every corner of the church. The reality, as we have found is much different. We have shown that there is zero credible evidence that a single person has ever been healed of HIV, disciples have had their lives torn apart by their involvement with SCOAN, demonstrating far more of what you might call “demonised” behaviour during/after their involvement than before. Finally, we have shown beyond any doubt that SCOAN deceptively edit their video output to make things look more favourable on them.
In this post, we publish in full an open letter by someone who has desperately sought healing through SCOAN. As you will see, he is not a supporter of our site, but asked us to publish his letter because he wants answers to his questions. We know he is far from alone in having sought healing and come away dissapointed, in fact in our experience he’s lucky to have even come away alive. His story provides an alternative to the “miracle warehouse” narative offered by Emmanuel TV.
My name is Ryan. I am from South Africa and am 38 years old. I am scared to write this post but as I drove to church this morning I realized it is better I find out the truth as I don’t know what to do anymore and.
I am scared because I am exposing myself on the internet but I have tried all other means available to get my story across. Let me make it very clear, I DO NOT support TBJoshuaWatch or WatchTBJoshua blogs as they are not endorsed or supported by SCOAN. I have been an Emmanuel TV Partner for almost 7 years and an avid supporter of TB Joshua‘s ministry for over 14 years.
My story is a sad one as I shot myself in the neck 14 years ago after going through months of depression. I never knew that I was suffering from depression until a year before my injury. I started taking anti-depressants and after tapering down I experienced tremendous stress at work. I started taking the normal dosage again plus an anti anxiety medication but I was spiralling into a hole and did not sleep for 6 weeks. I was sweating profusely at night because of panic attacks, went for prayer and counselling but to no avail. I was so tired the morning I broke open my moms cupboard to take her gun that I did not even think of my spinal cord when I contemplated shooting myself to escape out of a mental prison because of fear in my work situation. My mind was totally clouded.
As you can imagine the results were disastrous after I pulled the trigger. I shot myself at point blank range with a .32 calibre revolver and was immediately paralyzed.
I could not remember anything for a month after that. I was in ICU for 6 weeks and in rehab for another 8 months as an in and out patient.
Life was hell as I was quadriplegic injured at C6 level paralyzed from the chest down with limited use of my arms. Since then I have made a study about healing and forgiveness and realized just as God heals and forgives people with aids He can and wants to heal and forgive me.
For 14 years I have written to the Synagogue Church of All Nations to visit the prayer line but have been declined. Approximately 7 years ago I joined as an Emmanuel TV partner and wrote to the man of God Prophet TB Joshua. In June 2007 he phoned me and said he would like to see me when he comes to South Africa again. In December 2007 there was an Emmanuel TV partner dinner at the St. Georges hotel in Pretoria, South Africa and I was treated like an outcast and not a partner as I was in a wheelchair.
I wrote to the man of God and a few days later he phoned me and said not to worry as he would personally invite me to his place of stay the next week through the junior prophets as he was coming to South Africa again.
It did not transpire and I don’t know why and my parents were very upset as they answered my mobile phone each time in the early hours of the morning and were witness to the conversation.
I received anointed water a long time after this but after countless emails no direct response as to why the commitment was not honoured. Only a few automated prayer request responses. I believe TB Joshua is a true man of God but there is a true lack of transparency with the junior disciples as the message or my message is not getting through. I understand it is a massive Church and I am a nobody, so my message might disappear as there are lots of desperate people.
It is another 6 years later and I am disillusioned as 3 years ago I sent a personal letter with another Pastor to the man of God which he received but for which I am still awaiting a reply.
I have been contemplating writing this letter for many years and I have been scared, but I realized as long as I am telling the truth there is nothing to be scared of as my parents are my witness and God heard the conversation.
What do I want? I want answers from SCOAN why I am being ignored? Why was the commitment not honoured? Why do I not qualify for the prayer line if murderers and rapists do?
I feel terrible in writing this but I realized I might end up dying without ever knowing just because I was too scared too ask.
I am open to correction and will publicly apologize where I have made wrong assumptions or statements but I feel I have a right to be heard and answered. My story, history and medical records can be verified by doctors, specialists, family and friends.