Repost: Hattie’s story, part 3. Thought process

From the archive: In part three of her story, Hattie explores the thought process she went through which ultimately led to her severing her allegiance to SCOAN.

Who am I to question this man who is performing all these miracles and has such supernatural knowledge? He knows God better than I do and I had better listen to him.

TB Joshua appears to have such power in the supernatural realm and such knowledge about people. I wonder what he knows about me? I wonder if he will say anything about me? I am such a sinner.

TB Joshua seems to have “confrontation” with evil and often casts out demons. I don’t and am not even aware of that side of things much. I had better watch out/pray more/read my bible more/learn from TB Joshua more. (It indirectly made me acutely aware of evil at work and probably fear it more if I am honest)

A realisation

Some time passed and I simply carried on with my busy life.

Slowly I began to notice changes in people I knew that were involved with SCOAN closely. Most definitely these changes were for the worse and certainly not in keeping with the fruits of the Holy Spirit. It became more and more obvious with time. The people I knew were becoming increasingly hard, unloving and arrogant. They were disinterested in and withdrawing from relationships  and obsessed with all things SCOAN. It wasn’t just one person, I saw it happening across the board.   Within the families I knew who were involved, there was relationship breakdown, depression, isolation from the wider Christian community and rejection of family not involved in SCOAN.  All as a direct result of SCOAN involvement. I began to see that there was something very very wrong here. There was a deep discomfort within me. These people seemed to be burdened yet denied that burden completely. There appeared to be a real inner conflict going on, again denied. It seems strange to say it but there was something about their eyes. They seemed so hard.

A revelation

As a direct result of these concerns I began to pray and pray diligently and daily. In a way I never had before. I also went to pray with another Christian who I knew and respected, having seen many good fruits in their life and ministry. I still at that point totally believed SCOAN was a genuine move of God. That the problems were in the failings of the “men” involved for which SCOAN was obviously not responsible. I had purposefully never read any negative publicity about SCOAN. I just prayed and this fellow believer prayed for me, for discernment and understanding and that God would show me what was going on.

Amazing things began to happen to me. Over a period of a few days, I woke up in the night with Scriptures echoing in my mind. My heart would beat fast and I know that the Holy Spirit was speaking to me. It was like I was waking up from a long sleep. I could see in colour and my spirit soared. It happened in the day too that I would just be reminded of Scripture and I would write it down.

The most poignant dream of all, I liken to an experience where quite literally the scales fell from my eyes. I remember that moment of revelation and it was so beautiful.  I was reminded of conversations I had had in SCOAN whilst visiting and they stopped me in my tracks in this dream.

The first one was with someone I met there. I said “this really makes me question whether I am really a Christian” (i.e. I don’t see these things happening in my life..I must be nothing.)

The second was an inner conversation. I remember the incredible burden I felt and incredible condemnation and awareness of sin. Things I had long since repented of. I remember being petrified that thoughts would be broadcast to the audience too, (because this is what happens there!) I knew I was saved when I went and I knew that my sins were forgiven but somehow I didn’t quite believe it. I remember saying over and over to myself the scripture “for there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” I now know that this was my own little spiritual battle going on.

So when I awoke in the middle of the night, heart pounding, I was so aware of God’s overwhelming love for me. That Jesus had died for me. That He had paid the price and He had made me and He loved me for me. It was all finished. It was like I was hearing the Gospel for the first time. Indeed there is no condemnation!  I was shown very clearly in that moment that it was the Deceiver ( making me question my salvation) and the Accuser (making me conscious of past sins) that was at work here.

I was utterly astounded. It was as if my world just turned upside down. It was from then that I began to look at the quotable quotes and see how they were twisting scripture. Very subtly but very significantly.

I remember one example in particular. One of the quotes on a SCOAN card read “Jesus is reachable” and I thought to myself “NO! Jesus was God’s way of reaching us! That is what sets Christianity apart from all other faiths..”It’s subtle but it implies there is something you have to do, or somewhere you have to go to reach Jesus (e.g. SCOAN)

It was only at that point that I began to look at some of the internet publicity that was around at the time.

I looked at the allegations (and was horrified but did not simply take then at face value) I knew that regardless of whether those allegations are true or false that this was not of God.I looked at the definition of cults (and was horrified that it ticked every single box: certainly where the disciples are concerned) What the visitors see is a careful showcase of propaganda to portray a genuine and very exciting Christian church. It was very carefully orchestrated and I was a ready victim for the psychological techniques employed. I am not alone.

What I believe SCOAN is doing is deceiving and distracting and enslaving many precious children of God. Deceiving even the elect. It totally undermines our individual relationship with God through Jesus by adding in another intermediary. It points us off course.

To anyone reading this: Please don’t just take my word for it. Seek God with all your heart and be prepared for His answer and not just what you want to hear. Jesus is the Saviour, Redeemer and Restorer. He really is the answer but you have to seek Him and Him alone.

Repost: Hattie’s story, part 2. Returning to the UK

From the archive… This is part 2 of Hattie’s story. Follow the link to read Part 1 “Visiting SCOAN, first impressions“. Part 3 will be published tomorrow.

When I came back to the UK I was excited about it and told everyone about it. I was more evangelistic than I had ever been before. I had more courage to pray for people and I thought I had the magic formula now. Funnily enough, I never saw any results and when talking about it, TB Joshua and Jesus usually occupied the same sentence. I know now that my faith was in what I had seen in Lagos and not in God. I hardly ever read my Bible and preferred to watch TB Joshua videos. They seemed more exciting to me.

Deep down I thought I was inadequate and that I was too sinful and too much of a failure to be of any use to God.

If anyone spoke against TB Joshua, I would however become quite angry and defensive. I would think to myself “who are you to say that? You are not much of a Christian! Who are you to judge? At least I am accepting God’s prophet and can recognise a move of God when I see one!”  If pastors questioned it then I would think to myself “You are just scared that you are getting it wrong and you don’t want to be confronted by that. It is because you feel threatened by it and that it might undermine you that you won’t accept it/visit Lagos”

I had developed an incredible spiritual pride and was very judgmental about others depending on whether or not they “recognised TB Joshua”. This was the same for the others I knew that were involved.  Yet I now realise that my own spiritual walk was faltering hugely…I was feeling incredibly spiritually undermined, hugely inadequate and that I was a nobody in God’s kingdom…I have since likened it to a spiritual bone marrow transplant. My very lifeblood  (Christian faith) was being suppressed and then replaced with something different (doctrine of SCOAN and TB Joshua).

I really believed that you had to go to Lagos and meet TB Joshua to have any basis for criticism and this is an argument that is used frequently by those in SCOAN. But I now realise that to put yourself in that position is to subject yourself to an environment where you are programmed to believe. You are subject to a profound deception on both a psychological and a spiritual level.

Repost: Hattie’s story, part 1. Visiting SCOAN, first impressions

A post from the archive, part 2 and 3 to follow.

Why am I writing this? I have a unique viewpoint. I have been to SCOAN as a visitor and have been entranced by it. I have watched many videos and I have watched Emmanuel TV.  I was for a long time a sympathiser, never deeply involved but certainly deeply affected. I have known disciples (very well) both before, during and after their involvement and I want to bear witness to the truth, to share my story. I will also share my perception of the psychological and spiritual processes at work.

Continue reading

Joy’s story – discovering the truth about TB Joshua

Joy (name changed) spent 7 years as part of an American ministry that became closely (though never officially) associated to TB Joshua and remains so to this day. Almost two years ago the Pastor of this ministry (referred to in this post as P.J.) tragically lost his wife to cancer. This lady had been a close friend and confident to Joy. Out of respect for her late friend, Joy has asked that neither the pastor or his wife’s name be used in the post or subsequent comments. It may be obvious to many people who it is referring to, but please respect Joy’s wishes on this matter.

My reason for writing is not vengeance for having been hurt, but it is for the TRUTH to be exposed because now God is calling all to repentance INCLUDING T.B. JOSHUA and anyone else who is in this deception. I have had to repent before a living God of ever having been deceived and involved at any level in this corrupt gospel. Perhaps this was the time to share this experience.

My journey with P.J. and his wife lasted a good 7 years at least. I am sure that God brought me there at the beginning, when he still had an independent ministry, seeking after righteousness and preparing for our LORD’s return. It was about 5 years after I was in the ministry, that he gave up his own ministry to submit himself totally under the authority of T.B. Joshua. To be quite honest with you, his wife was not totally on board at the beginning. I also perceive she never became totally convinced as she would often go back and forth with her reaction to the SCOAN ministry. I think she wanted peace between her and her husband so she would conform.

Upon returning from her first trip to SCOAN, she was hit with a diagnosis of cancer. At SCOAN the use of medication is frowned upon, but despite her husbands protest she insisted on receiving radiotherapy. Sadly, despite all the prayers and medical interventions, she still passed away. I believe that in her last days on this earth, the very capable Holy Spirit ministered to her to prepare her for her journey home. I left the ministry about 6 months before the pastor’s wife died, I thank my LORD that during the year before I left, He gave me the opportunity to spend many hours traveling alone with her on a weekly basis. It was precious time that the HOLY SPIRIT used to minister to her heart and soul as she faced the end of her life.

Leaving the ministry was incredibly difficult to do, but I knew the LORD was leading me on a different path, and I had a growing unease about the direction the pastor was taking. When I left I was then ostracized from the group, losing a friendship with a sister and her family of 25 + years because I was perceived to be on the “wrong road”. “Agape Love” my former friend called it.

At this point I had grave concerns about TB Joshua’s ministry, but hadn’t come to any firm conclusions. Over the next period of my life, the LORD providentially used multiple situations to help me clearly see the truth about TB Joshua. I want to share them with you now in the hope that it helps others wake up to the truth.

Firstly, even in my last days with this ministry, I had started to get connected with a true ministry of the LORD in Kenya. After leaving, I traveled to Kenya and the LORD orchestrated me sitting at the table with a delegation of high ranking Pastors visiting from Nigeria who shed much light on TB Joshua and SCOAN. Another Pastor who was visiting from Asia said some of his fellowship had left to follow TB Joshua and it had had a terrible effect on them.

A second providential moment happened when I was on my way to the airport. I was sharing a ride with a Nigerian brother who knew nothing of my previous connection with SCOAN. Out of the blue, he started sharing with me a dream the LORD had given him about this so called “prophet”. In the dream he saw a pole in SCOAN where unclean spirits and powers were traveling up and down…then he heard the voice of the LORD saying, “I have given him (referring to T. B. Joshua) time to repent but he has not”. Was this conversation a coincidence? I think not. God had it all planned to expose the truth to me. He knew how much I needed to know the truth.

The LORD also exposed the falsehood of this ministry from simple brochures of Corrie Ten Boon, there were quotes from this woman of God who had already passed away, that T.B. Joshua was using…the problem I saw was this: Why was it that I had believed they were original T.B. Joshua quotes? Should he not have given credit of this quotes to the woman who wrote them? To some this might not seem a big deal, but it certainly left a bad taste and suggested an element of deception and dishonesty within the ministry. Since then I have learned though the TB Joshua Watch site that a huge number of other “original TB Joshua Quotes” are also plagiarised.

Last but not least, the Word of God says that by their fruit, you will know them. What I witnessed in the ministry since the pastor submitted himself under the authority of T.B. Joshua was quarreling, division, ostracizing of people who left the ministry, the anointing water becoming bigger than our LORD Jesus Christ, to name a few things. Before connecting with TB Joshua’s ministry, the LORD performed many miracles through P.J’s ministry, but during the years after coming under the authority of TB Joshua, I can’t truthfully claim I saw a single genuine miracle. There was also the case of a young man connected with SCOAN who I met when an English couple who worked closely with T.B. Joshua came to New York to do an anointed water service in a Church in Queens, NY that P.J. had arranged. This couple apparently had been connected to this young man, whom we then met. After the couple went back to Lagos, this young man continued to attend our weekly service and leadership meetings. I speak of him because his earnest desire to serve the LORD with his whole heart had impressed me. I had several opportunities to speak with him candidly and got to see him as I would my own son. After some struggle, his dream of traveling to SCOAN and becoming a disciple came true. At the time I was very happy for him because I did not know the deception that was in that ministry. Since he went there, I never had contact with him again. I saw him when they had the anointed water service in Washington State, he also went there. The only thing I could say is that I saw his countenance on the live broadcast through internet and he appeared so “stony faced”. I remember P.J’s wife telling me (as she had traveled to Washington state to attend the service with her husband) that he barely acknowledged them. I often think of that young man and wonder how he is doing. I pray that he will wake up to the truth and that it will set him free!

Upon my return home from my first trip to Kenya, the conclusion of the matter given to me by our LORD is that T.B. Joshua was a false prophet and P.J. had been led to become a blind shepherd. Not long after P.J.’s wife died, the Super Storm Sandy destroyed the property used by the ministry. Some of us who are no longer in the ministry but were close to them also thought that perhaps after the these setbacks he would repent, but instead he continued with full force claiming that the happenings were from the enemy to stop the work. I have placed this man who was my former pastor at the Altar of Jehovah! I have forgiven any offenses and my prayer is that they repent and turn from sin, as I have done as well! A key Scripture that God has ingrained in my heart during this time is in Hebrews 12:13 I believe where its says to “MAKE EVERY EFFORT TO LIVE IN PEACE AND BE HOLY, BECAUSE WITHOUT HOLINESS, NO ONE (AND THAT MEANS NO ONE!) WILL SEE THE LORD!

Hattie’s story, part 3. Thought process

In part three of her story, Hattie explores the thought process she went through which ultimately led to her severing her allegiance to SCOAN. Follow the links to read Part 1 “Visiting SCOAN, first impressions” or Part 2 “Returning to the UK

Who am I to question this man who is performing all these miracles and has such supernatural knowledge? He knows God better than I do and I had better listen to him.

TB Joshua appears to have such power in the supernatural realm and such knowledge about people. I wonder what he knows about me? I wonder if he will say anything about me? I am such a sinner.

TB Joshua seems to have “confrontation” with evil and often casts out demons. I don’t and am not even aware of that side of things much. I had better watch out/pray more/read my bible more/learn from TB Joshua more. (It indirectly made me acutely aware of evil at work and probably fear it more if I am honest)

A realisation

Some time passed and I simply carried on with my busy life.

Slowly I began to notice changes in people I knew that were involved with SCOAN closely. Most definitely these changes were for the worse and certainly not in keeping with the fruits of the Holy Spirit. It became more and more obvious with time. The people I knew were becoming increasingly hard, unloving and arrogant. They were disinterested in and withdrawing from relationships  and obsessed with all things SCOAN. It wasn’t just one person, I saw it happening across the board.   Within the families I knew who were involved, there was relationship breakdown, depression, isolation from the wider Christian community and rejection of family not involved in SCOAN.  All as a direct result of SCOAN involvement. I began to see that there was something very very wrong here. There was a deep discomfort within me. These people seemed to be burdened yet denied that burden completely. There appeared to be a real inner conflict going on, again denied. It seems strange to say it but there was something about their eyes. They seemed so hard.

A revelation

As a direct result of these concerns I began to pray and pray diligently and daily. In a way I never had before. I also went to pray with another Christian who I knew and respected, having seen many good fruits in their life and ministry. I still at that point totally believed SCOAN was a genuine move of God. That the problems were in the failings of the “men” involved for which SCOAN was obviously not responsible. I had purposefully never read any negative publicity about SCOAN. I just prayed and this fellow believer prayed for me, for discernment and understanding and that God would show me what was going on.

Amazing things began to happen to me. Over a period of a few days, I woke up in the night with Scriptures echoing in my mind. My heart would beat fast and I know that the Holy Spirit was speaking to me. It was like I was waking up from a long sleep. I could see in colour and my spirit soared. It happened in the day too that I would just be reminded of Scripture and I would write it down.

The most poignant dream of all, I liken to an experience where quite literally the scales fell from my eyes. I remember that moment of revelation and it was so beautiful.  I was reminded of conversations I had had in SCOAN whilst visiting and they stopped me in my tracks in this dream.

The first one was with someone I met there. I said “this really makes me question whether I am really a Christian” (i.e. I don’t see these things happening in my life..I must be nothing.)

The second was an inner conversation. I remember the incredible burden I felt and incredible condemnation and awareness of sin. Things I had long since repented of. I remember being petrified that thoughts would be broadcast to the audience too, (because this is what happens there!) I knew I was saved when I went and I knew that my sins were forgiven but somehow I didn’t quite believe it. I remember saying over and over to myself the scripture “for there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” I now know that this was my own little spiritual battle going on.

So when I awoke in the middle of the night, heart pounding, I was so aware of God’s overwhelming love for me. That Jesus had died for me. That He had paid the price and He had made me and He loved me for me. It was all finished. It was like I was hearing the Gospel for the first time. Indeed there is no condemnation!  I was shown very clearly in that moment that it was the Deceiver ( making me question my salvation) and the Accuser (making me conscious of past sins) that was at work here.

I was utterly astounded. It was as if my world just turned upside down. It was from then that I began to look at the quotable quotes and see how they were twisting scripture. Very subtly but very significantly.

I remember one example in particular. One of the quotes on a SCOAN card read “Jesus is reachable” and I thought to myself “NO! Jesus was God’s way of reaching us! That is what sets Christianity apart from all other faiths..”It’s subtle but it implies there is something you have to do, or somewhere you have to go to reach Jesus (e.g. SCOAN)

It was only at that point that I began to look at some of the internet publicity that was around at the time.

I looked at the allegations (and was horrified but did not simply take then at face value) I knew that regardless of whether those allegations are true or false that this was not of God.I looked at the definition of cults (and was horrified that it ticked every single box: certainly where the disciples are concerned) What the visitors see is a careful showcase of propaganda to portray a genuine and very exciting Christian church. It was very carefully orchestrated and I was a ready victim for the psychological techniques employed. I am not alone.

What I believe SCOAN is doing is deceiving and distracting and enslaving many precious children of God. Deceiving even the elect. It totally undermines our individual relationship with God through Jesus by adding in another intermediary. It points us off course.

To anyone reading this: Please don’t just take my word for it. Seek God with all your heart and be prepared for His answer and not just what you want to hear. Jesus is the Saviour, Redeemer and Restorer. He really is the answer but you have to seek Him and Him alone.

Hattie’s story, part 2. Returning to the UK

This is part 2 of Hattie’s story. Follow the link to read Part 1 “Visiting SCOAN, first impressions

When I came back to the UK I was excited about it and told everyone about it. I was more evangelistic than I had ever been before. I had more courage to pray for people and I thought I had the magic formula now. Funnily enough, I never saw any results and when talking about it, TB Joshua and Jesus usually occupied the same sentence. I know now that my faith was in what I had seen in Lagos and not in God. I hardly ever read my Bible and preferred to watch TB Joshua videos. They seemed more exciting to me. 

Deep down I thought I was inadequate and that I was too sinful and too much of a failure to be of any use to God.

If anyone spoke against TB Joshua, I would however become quite angry and defensive. I would think to myself “who are you to say that? You are not much of a Christian! Who are you to judge? At least I am accepting God’s prophet and can recognise a move of God when I see one!”  If pastors questioned it then I would think to myself “You are just scared that you are getting it wrong and you don’t want to be confronted by that. It is because you feel threatened by it and that it might undermine you that you won’t accept it/visit Lagos”

I had developed an incredible spiritual pride and was very judgmental about others depending on whether or not they “recognised TB Joshua”. This was the same for the others I knew that were involved.  Yet I now realise that my own spiritual walk was faltering hugely…I was feeling incredibly spiritually undermined, hugely inadequate and that I was a nobody in God’s kingdom…I have since likened it to a spiritual bone marrow transplant. My very lifeblood  (Christian faith) was being suppressed and then replaced with something different (doctrine of SCOAN and TB Joshua).

I really believed that you had to go to Lagos and meet TB Joshua to have any basis for criticism and this is an argument that is used frequently by those in SCOAN. But I now realise that to put yourself in that position is to subject yourself to an environment where you are programmed to believe. You are subject to a profound deception on both a psychological and a spiritual level.

Part 3 of Hattie’s story “Thought process” will be posted on Wednesday 2nd November

Hattie’s story, part 1. Visiting SCOAN, first impressions

From the editor: SCOAN supporters often say that to have any basis for critisism you must first visit SCOAN and see what happens there for yourself. Hattie refutes this claim, but has actually been there and done that. We will be serialising her story over the next few days.

Why am I writing this? I have a unique viewpoint. I have been to SCOAN as a visitor and have been entranced by it. I have watched many videos and I have watched Emmanuel TV.  I was for a long time a sympathiser, never deeply involved but certainly deeply affected. I have known disciples (very well) both before, during and after their involvement and I want to bear witness to the truth, to share my story. I will also share my perception of the psychological and spiritual processes at work.

Continue reading